Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

The naivete and sheer innocence of children often reminds me of how jaded we adults are. Two stories come to mind whenever I think about how far and away from our childhood:

1. Within our household, we are fairly careful with our language. Not only do we refrain from using profanity, but we also discourage our children from employing words like "hate", "fart", "stupid", etc. Our children have been instructed to try to be positive in their thinking and in their speech. We've tried to impress upon them the adage that "if you've nothing good to say to someone, then don't say anything at all".

When my eldest son J., began grade one, he was exposed to all sorts of children, a few of whose parents didn't necessarily subscribe to the same school of thought as we did. Indeed, their philosophy appeared to be more along the lines of the blurt-whatever-comes-to-your-mind-however-inappropriate-it-may-be variety. J. was horrified that kids would say some of the things that he would never dare to utter.

On our way home from school one day, J. announced from the back of the car that one of his classmates constantly used the "S-word". While I thought that this language was somewhat inappropriate for a boy on the verge of his sixth birthday, I also knew that there was a small faction of kids within the school who consistently used what we deemed 'bad' language. The difficulty was how to keep our kids from employing obnoxious or inappropriate terms when others used it regularly.

While J. was expounding on the evils of employing the "S-word", his little sister suddenly piped up "What IS the S-word?" to which J. replied "You don't want to know ... it's SOOOOOOOOOOO bad". Of course, this just piqued her interest and she kept pressing him to tell her what the word was. After many refusals on J.'s part, she finally asked him to tell her what the word meant. J. hesitated and asked me to help him out with the definition, so I said "It's a not very nice word for poo". At this, J. said "It is? I thought it was the opposite of smart". Uh oh ...

I asked J. what exactly was the S-word and he leaned in and whispered in my ear "Stupid. What word were you thinking of?"

"Um ... never mind ..."


2. A few years ago, I was speaking with a close friend of J. This particular boy is utterly endearing; half-Parisian with a mop of hair, he possesses a charmingly earnest demeanour. On this particular occasion, he was walking alongside me and my children as we exited the school.

At one point, I glanced down at his feet and noticed that his shoes appeared to be several sizes larger than J's. Since J. has always asked me if he is of average height or not, I enquired as to the size of his friend's shoes. As it turned out his shoe size was probably only about two sizes smaller than my own -- large if you consider the fact that he was in grade two at the time.

When I exclaimed "Wow ... you have big feet for a kid your age", he replied with a "Well you know what they say about people with big shoes, right?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart pounding, all the while thinking "Oh no ... this kid not only has way larger feet than J., he is clearly so much more precocious". After the boy prompted me again with his question, I then felt compelled to respond with a weak "Um well I've heard of something but I can't really remember ... so, WHAT do they say about people with big shoes?"

The answer with a lovely French lilt followed immediately, "Well, that they are fraidy cats. And that's not true because my cousin has really big feet and she's so brave. She's not scared of anything". He then followed it up with an innocent "Is that what you were told?" I smiled down at his big brown eyes and managed to stammer out "Why yes, I think I remember hearing something likethat".

5 comments:

St. Dickeybird said...

Haha, cute. I think it says that you're more dirty-minded than you think.
So... how are you?
;)

My parents didn't teach me that "swearing is bad," just that it makes one look ignorant and foolish. It worked. I never worried about being good or bad, but I didn't want to be seen as ignorant.

EarthMother said...

Dickey: After each of those incidents, I really did feel that my mind was in the gutter!

Snooze said...

Those are cute stories! You are a perv btw. And I'm surprised you even let me near your children. I have such a gutter mouth.

EarthMother said...

Snooze: From whom did I learn to be a perv, I wonder? Could be the same person who taught me to power drink?

St. Dickeybird said...

Two pervy pottymouths that powerdrink??

Oh yes, we need to drink together, oh yes...