Maternal Reflex

Whew ... I survived the last week of school and my daughter's birthday party. No small feat, the latter, because I had twenty-three very wired kids in attendance.

It really is interesting watching some of the kids ... you really can tell who has been raised in a barn, and who has had a proper upbringing. I know that sounds terribly snobby and echoes our moms and grandmothers, but it's true. I guess I can't exorcise my mother's voice from my head (very Norman Bates-like, I know).

Every time I host an event in which there are lots of children in attendance outside of my kids' circle of close friends, I find myself having to hold back from quizzing my kids closely afterwards th ensure that my kids don't do any of the rude things at others' homes and parties that I witnessed in my own. Quite frankly, I'm always appalled by some of the things I see.

Don't get me wrong ... I don't expect kids to be miniature adults and just sit quietly. My children are certainly active and boisterous as a barrel of monkeys, and I love the element of chaos that they bring into the household. What I don't expect though are children who have this sense of entitlement and who are just plain cheeky and rude. Children who will do things like open your fridge and just help themselves to things without being invited to do so. Children who will decide they like something they see (non-edible) and pocket it without asking. Children, who when you tell them a rule (like, we don't use the word "fuck" in our household), argue with you. I guess, I must be old because I just kept thinking to myself how disrespectful some of these kids were.

Of course, some of the mystery was cleared up when I met the parents. One woman showed up half an hour late (this after she had repeatedly asked me at the drop-off what time the party ended, thereby proving that hearing and listening are two distinct and separate experiences), and completely without explanation or apology. During the torturously long half an hour before she deigned to appear, I had to constantly ask her son to refrain from behaving in a certain rude and decidedly wild manner. I also had to resist from ripping out of his hands some of the things he'd decided should go home with him. I was in no mood to linger and chat with the mom when she finally did show up. Was also mildly appalled that neither parent nor child thanked me or my daughter before they left. This is a woman who is quite well educated and wealthy, and is a respected professional, so stupidly I assumed that she would have some amount of etiquette, but there I go, snobbishly stereotyping again.

The delayed reaction I get to being exposed to kids like that is wanting to pack up and move to a rural neighbourhood where I can raise my children in a natural, simple and unspoiled environment. I just can't bear the thought of my kids turning into rude and obnoxious people.