Last Friday marked my ten year wedding anniversary. This Sunday is my eldest's son's ninth birthday. Hard to believe that so much time has passed in what seemed like a nano second.
I'm not sure which milestone freaks me out more, my anniversary or my son's birthday. I suspect it is probably the latter. It's hard to believe that my first-born is only a couple of years away from adolescence. I can still remember the moment he was born; the doctor placed him on my stomach and I looked down into his face and felt as though I was seeing someone I'd known all my life. It was a really weird experience; electrifying and comforting all at once. Afterwards, I spent hours holding him and rubbing my cheek against the soft downy fuzz of his head.
Two days ago, my son came home from his hockey practice complaining of a stomach ache. The first thing he did was head upstairs to see me. I ended up holding him much like I did when he was a baby, stroking his head and back and whispering "ssh" into his hair. It's funny how even though kids can get bigger, they still revert back to that infantile stage in moments of stress. Although I felt badly that he was suffering so much, I have to confess that it was so nice to cuddle him like I used to when he was a newborn.
Reflecting back upon the last ten years of my life, I wondered if I've gotten any more mature than when I was in my twenties. I have this horrible suspicion that, if anything, I might have regressed. I suppose I could point to the fact that I'm in a long-term relationship as proof of my maturity, since prior to our fourteen years together (ack!), I'd always made sure to end relationships at the one-year mark, but really the truth of the matter is that it's more a credit to his patience than anything else. We're like some perverse twist on A Portrait of Dorian Gray; as he gets older and more mature, I get more childish and silly. Wonder what I'll be doing on our twentieth anniversary?
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6 comments:
Congratz, Happy aniversary! I don't think getting older has anything to do with being more mature. I think its experience that make you mature. And its not like with each passing year you stop being who you were before, you just have more options/experience to choose from. I don't think you can stop being/feeling who you are just because of time. Your still the sum of your experiences, even the childlike ones.
That made sense in my mind anyway, hope it translated ok. Look Epi, Something shiney there too......
Sister: I think during times of stress, no matter the age, we always want our mommies. A doctor friend of mine told me once a sad story about a man in his late sixties who lay in hospital dying, crying repeatedly for his mom.
Greg: I agree with you re. the whole experience and maturity issue. The comment was actually meant to be tongue in cheek. I was always considered mature beyond my years, so now that I'm exploring less serious things, I feel somewhat immature.
I still can't believe you have a 9 year-old. I remember you pregnant with him. For that matter, I remember your wedding. That was one of the most beautiful ceremonies. Love you hon, you deserve the best
PS Yes, you are regressing. But I love it because it helps to make me feel like I'm not the only immature one.
Snooze, you're hardly immature. You just have a great sense of fun. I think you and I are both exploring sides of ourselves now that we were never allowed to before, hence we think we're childish?
Anyway, thanks for the nice wishes. I was so glad you made it to my wedding. It meant a lot to me.
David and I just celebrated 1 year last night. It's my 1st relationship past 6-8 months and I hope to see this last a lifetime. I'd have to say that despite having matured in so many ways in the last year, I am still a brat and both David and I keep that close to our hearts. Laughter after all is a great medicine.
Congrats on your anniversary!
Epi: A big CONGRATULATIONS on reaching the 1 year mark!!! What a milestone -- I look forward to hearing about future anniversaries. I have to say that I agree about laughter and maintaining a sense of humour. My husband and I have been through a lot together, and I think we've both matured through the years ... but that doesn't preclude being childlike at heart and enjoying it. My husband has always said that I make him laugh always ... I think that's really what has kept us together.
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