I just had my piano tuned today by an older blind man. I'm not sure if it's politically correct anymore to refer to someone as blind; is the proper term now visually challenged? That particular phrase just doesn't sound right somehow because truly, I think I've met a number of people whom I would deem visually challenged and yet their eyesight is probably twenty-twenty.
For the last year-and-a-half, I have been mistaken for this local chick who appears on TV daily. This has happened at least a dozen times. Those who know I'm not her (my doctor's and dentist's staff, for example) ask me instead if she is my sister. Since each person has sworn up and down that we could be twins, I just had to see for myself who this babe was. I taped the show one day and played it back and ... I just couldn't see the resemblance. I mean, she's clearly of Asian descent and she has funky hair with fun streaks of colours in it, but the similarities more or less ended there. I even asked my husband if he thought we looked alike, and he looked similarly confused when I recounted all the stories about how I've been accosted by adoring fans. His comment was "Well ... I can't even figure it out. I guess she's kind of good-looking, right? So they're paying you a compliment, aren't they?"
I suppose maybe it is all meant to be complimentary, but I can't help getting mildly offended at the ignorance contained within the comments. In the past, I've been compared to every Asian celebrity under the sun (Lucy Liu, Sandra Oh, Connie Chung, the girl from Raise the Red Lantern, etc.) And truly, I look like none of these women. And honestly, exactly what physical characteristics do Lucy Liu and Sandra Oh have in common? Oh yes, they're both Asian.
Growing up in the seventies, I heard a lot of ignorant comments regarding my heritage and my appearance. It really wasn't uncommon for a Caucasian to blurt out that "you all look alike" (or, my all-time favourite -- to ask me exactly how I was able to see through my eyes). Uh huh ... so the reason I can spot a person of Chinese descent amongst a crowd of Japanese would be? Oh yes, it's different if you're actually Asian (or Oriental, as it used to be called back in my childhood days).
I remember once being asked by a Caucasian guy if someone else was Jewish or Christian. When I responded that I hadn't asked that question, and therefore didn't know the answer, he replied "Well how could you not tell? It's pretty obvious". Well, I suppose in some cases it may be (i.e. the guy's name is Rabbi Moishe Goldstein and he's wearing a kippa), but since I don't have a tendency to try and classify people in that way, I couldn't correctly answer the question. Instead I flippantly said "Hmm ... I don't know because all you white folk look the same to me". Apparently, that is not a politcally correct thing to say; the guy was shocked and offended that I would utter such an insensitive and unkind remark. But the truth of the matter is that it isn't deemed unacceptable to say that Chinese, Japanese, Philipinos, Vietnamese, Koreans, etc. all look alike.
My children, especially my eldest who has quite unusual colouring, get asked often about their ancestry in rather rude and limiting ways (Are you Chinese or Japanese? What is your dad? What is your mom?) They truly have no understanding as to why people would pose these kinds of questions and why that aspect about them in particular, is of any interest. My son's stock response to questions as to his cultural background is "I'm Canadian. What about you?" It's not meant to be a flip answer; he just honestly doesn't identify with anything else, and he's never thought of me as being of Korean descent. To him, I'm his mom first and une Quebecoise second. I find that thinking surprisingly refreshing, when truly, it should be the norm.
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I think part of it has to do with exposure. Now that I live in Toronto I can tell the difference between where in Asia and where in Africa people are from. But back in Sudbury, I had no clue what the differences were. That in no way excuses the stupid comment of 'you all look alike'. i like the fact that you said it about white people.
I have a hard time explaining to people that even though my father's parents were by birth Italian, he identifies as Scottish. Especially in Canada, people can't seem to accept that.
Yes, I'm not expecting that people should know what the differences might be, but simply acknowledge that there are differences. I mean, Asia is a fairly large continent ...
On the topic of your dad being of Italian descent, but really identifying himself as a Scot ... it is funny how people don't get that concept. What your cultural birthright might be and what your actual identity is are two separate and distinct things. I mean, how does one reconcile the whole international adoption issue then? In my book, the kids are all Canadian ...
I have a million things to say but will try to keep it short.
First off, when I was a kid, living in North York we also had a blind fellow tune our piano (wonder if its the same guy).
Secondly, I empathise and actually understand what you are talking about. I get the same thing all the time. When someone calls me Oriental, I call them Occidental (they usually have no idea what the 2 mean). I still find it curiously annoying that people have a need to separate, dissect and place people into neat little conceived holes. I am Chinese, live in Toronto, speak fluent English with no accent, dress in casual "western" clothes, am 6'1 tall, and I still have people coming up to me and saying dumb ass questions or comments like "where are you from?" or "Wow, your English is really good".
Epi: I think you and I could trade war stories for hours. Best short anecdoate I have: back in my university days, I had to write an exam in Seely Hall. I had no idea where that was, so I stopped someone on campus and enquired if he knew. He pointed me in the direction of City Hall. Yes, we all speak pidgin.
OMG - I would have laughed right in that persons face, then smacked them.
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