What Breed is Your "Dog"?

Was engaging in some banter with a quasi-friend/acquaintance today regarding some men's delusions of grandeur vis-a-vis their (ahem) equipment.

I recounted a story about how we used to have this Yorkshire terrier aptly named Peppy. Peppy weighed in at a whopping four pounds soaking wet, but suffered from canine schizophrenia or something, because she seemed to think that she was a German Shepherd or Irish Wolfhound or something. She would strut up and down the street and growl ferociously at pit bulls and threaten to take them on, seemingly ignorant of the fact that these dogs could easily make dinner (or a light snack) of her within seconds flat. Talk about having a problem with body image!

So discussions with my friend quickly turned to who might be a Yorkie and who might be a German Shepherd, and all the variations in between. And how disappointing it can be, if a man leads one to believe that he is a German Shepherd, when the real truth is that he should be so lucky as to aspire to be a Yorkie. How exactly can people get so deluded about what they look like?

(I had an unfortunate memory of a man I once knew who lay claim to being of fairly mythic proportions. And then suffered from nerves when it came time to "produce". It became immediately apparent that he was probably half the man that he'd put himself forth to be. It wouldn't have mattered so much to me, but then I couldn't help but wonder what else he'd told me that was an obvious mistruth).

I don't want to be labelled a sizist, and truly it really isn't all about size, (although I think there is a certain minimum requirement). but to start off a relationship with gross misrepresentation is never a good thing. So men please, if you're a Chihuahua or a Yorkie, own up to it.